Letter to Dad

Tomorrow, my Dad would have celebrated his 87th birthday.  This is what will pass for a birthday card for him:

Dear Daddy – I want to wish you a happy 87^th birthday today.  I imagine the last 5 birthday parties in heaven have been pretty sweet; I’m guessing no one bothers with putting candles on the cake, since that whole absence-of-fire thing is a big selling point of Heaven.  I further suspect that birthday cake up there doesn’t have any calories; otherwise, what’s the point?

A lot has happened in the last five years since you left us here.  I can’t tell you how many times I wished I could pick up the phone and tell you that I’m pulling straight A’s in law classes.  The family has grown so much –3 more great grandchildren since you passed over. They are so funny, and they’re growing so fast! Lisa is really enjoying this grandparent gig she’s got; I know that deep down, you would’ve loved the chance to have all your grandkids around too.  Mandy and Chad are grownups now, still so happy together after 10 years.  She still cries when she thinks of how much she misses you, too.

You left a lot of unanswered questions when you passed, and I’m really pissed at myself that I didn’t ask you about them when you were here.  On further reflection, I realize that you probably wouldn’t have answered them anyway, because you always kept your thoughts and feelings close to the vest.  I still feel your loss deeply and daily, but I console myself by focusing on what you did leave behind: you left me lots of happy memories; you left me a love of words,  a love of books, and a curiosity about the world; you left me with a strong work ethic and taking satisfaction in doing the job right the first time.  But above all, you left me the memory of our last conversation. I finally heard what I have known all along; you loved me.  And I got to tell you what I think you needed to hear, too – that I was proud you were my Dad.  I always was, and I always will be. 

So, I’m sending a hug and a kiss towards heaven for you.  Happy birthday, and have a piece of cake for me, okay?  Look for the balloon I’ll be sending up your way, and catch it if you can.  You’ll know it when you see it.

Love,

Me